One month and some change are marked off of our deployment
calendar already. The time is passing
quickly on both ends, which is such a blessing.
The key is to stay busy enough to keep your mind focused on other
things, but to not get too busy and wear yourself out. Ay, there’s the rub! I stopped for a moment the other day just to
breathe, and realized I had gone almost 35 days without being away from my
children for more than about 2 hours once a week. And surprisingly I was overwhelmed with thankfulness, not
stress or frustration.
When I think about Jason being over there and hear him
talking about being home sick, it is very clear to me that I am blessed on this
end of the deployment beyond measure. I
am in my home, I am with my kids, and I am safe. He is far from home, far from the kids, and
me and far from being safe.
For both of us, the evenings are the hardest. That was our time: our time to talk and laugh
and shake off the stress of the day.
Now, it is quiet and sometimes down right empty. Jason is so worn out that he fills that time
with well-needed sleep. I, on the other
hand, spend it doing an extra load of laundry.
Sometimes I watch a movie or show as Jason and I often would do, but I
find myself laughing hysterically or having a good cry and wishing so badly I
could share it with him.
It is hard when we only get to chat or talk for a few
minutes in the morning or evening.
Trying to fit it all into a small conversation is challenging and almost
never happens. I always hang up
thinking, “I have so much more to share with you!” What is scary about it for me is that I feel
like he is missing out on little parts of my day and I his. Those little parts add up over time and
before you know it, there is a huge part of your spouse’s life that you have missed. They are somehow changed by these experiences
that you never heard about.
But I am confident that our Father in Heaven will protect
our hearts and minds in this time apart.
I know that I can expect a challenge with reintegration, but I also know
that I can expect blessings. And
speaking of blessings, I am so thankful how in just this short time apart,
Jason and I have grown in our relationship.
It is easy to see what we had been taking for granted. A light has been shown on our love for each
other. It is like the ins and outs of
daily life and routines had put a shadow over that part of our marriage. We must remember to guard our love for each
other and cultivate it more and more.
Thank you, Lord for showing us this.
Another blessing and place of growth has been prayer. I was encouraged by a sweet friend to follow
through on an impulse to create a Facebook page dedicated to prayer for
Jason. I am so very thankful that I
did. It has been a wonderful avenue to
get information out to family and friends and let them know how to pray for
Jason specifically. But most importantly
it has been a way for me to become more intentional every morning in praying
for Jason. I make sure to ask him how I
can pray for him when we talk. I am
always reading and memorizing specific scripture verses pertaining to his
requests. It is creating in me such
immeasurable thankfulness! And, though it may sound funny to say, for this I am
thankful!
"And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body. And be thankful." (Colossians 3:15)
